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Massage or Not to Massage?

October 9, 2012

I am home this afternoon and I happened to be watching Seinfeld, which I love. There is an episode in the fifth season called “The Masseuse”. (A term I despise, but that’s another topic.) Jerry dates a woman in the episode who is a massage therapist (played by the always funny Jennifer Coolidge) and she refuses to give Jerry a massage. Nothing he does earns the massage. I have probably seen this episode 50 times, but it makes me double over in laughter. Mostly because I can relate. Even CC thinks its funny, for the same reason I do.

I don’t massage CC. Not because I don’t love him or don’t care, I have just always had a hard time massaging the person I am involved with. I massaged him twice before we got married, and since then it’s been a no go. I have given him pedicures, we even go out for pedicures, but it is not the same thing. I have even traded with friends for him to get massages.

I once actually was reprimanded by a colleague for not massaging him. “But you are his wife, he works hard, that’s your job!” Um, no, it’s really not. If that’s the argument, here’s my response: I work hard, he should massage me!

I felt that was none of her damn business as to whether or not I massage him. It’s my marriage who is she to tell me what I need to do for him?

We go to the coast every year for 5 days and stay in the same house we honeymooned in. Last time, before we went, I was taking my portable table out of my car so we could pack up to leave and he stopped me.

“Leave your table in the car.”

Me, “Why? We need the space for our stuff.”

CC, “But we can massage each other. You massage me and I can massage you.”

I’m thinking that this sounds more like foreplay then a relaxing idea.

My response, “I’ll pass, and when we get up there, I’ll find a place and buy you a massage as a late Christmas gift.”

He walks off pouting.

He’s a good man, he works hard, and I do like to do things for him. But when my work day is done, it’s done. I leave it at the office. It’s a back and forth that will for sure extend throughout the lifetime of our marriage. It gives us a good laugh. Laughter is good for the soul. It’s relaxing too….


From → Marriage, My work

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