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Who Turns Down Free Help?

January 18, 2013

When CC took the job at KHS I was elated to discover that they had an actual booster club just for football. My plan was to join and to be the best, most loved coach’s wife ever.

That’s not what happened. I wasn’t able to attend a lot of the first meetings after he was hired, but I did participate and donate to a handful of functions. I schmoozed with the parents at wine tastings and dinners, I drank to be social, but thought it was inappropriate when they started feeding me drinks at a fundraising dinner. I declined invitations to sit with them at games because I hate listening to parents complain about my husband or the coaching staff during games. I also dislike being told to give my husband messages at halftime. If he’s not playing your kid, there’s usually a good reason, and I never question his judgment during a game. I sit with my family and my friends away from parents or, like at the last high school, since I was friends with the cheer coaches I sat with them and the cheer parents. That’s always the way its been.

As time has gone, it’s been obvious that the booster club members have their own personal agenda at the meetings and that they don’t like how much knowledge CC has or how involved he is. They want to be able to make decisions that aren’t theirs to make. My mom and I had decided that we needed to get involved in a much more active way, especially after taking over and running the last snack bar with our friends. I wanted to take over doing the membership drives, which no one was doing because the current members like to pick and choose who should be booster club members. There’s an open position for the second VP, I’ve been eyeing it. Mom was looking to be secretary, but was more than happy to fill-in where ever needed. Up until this week, that was the plan.

One particular member of the board had decided that CC was trying to stack votes in his favor by getting family and friends involved and onto the board. In a roundabout way that was halfway true. CC wasn’t trying to gang up on the existing members, but he needs more people on his side. Not people that constantly go and fight against him. He needs people on the board that understand what he’s trying to accomplish, which is to give his kids the best possible football experience they can have. That’s all he wants to do. He wants us on the board because he knows that our motives will match his. He knows we won’t fight him and turn the meetings into pissing contests.

The constant battles and BS we have been dealing with had been making me shy away from boosters to begin with. Late last year I had even asked CC to stop talking to me about boosters because it was too stressful to listen to the drama. I promised him, starting this month that I would make it happen for him by joining and throwing my hat in to be on the board. I hate that I have been told I am not wanted. I am happy to know that another coach and his wife (who is the new treasurer) have stood up for me, but they have the same motives and mentality that we do. They have no personal agenda or power trip to take, they want the absolute best for these kids. That’s all mom and I want. We both know and understand the value of organized sports in a child’s life. Its huge. Having a coaching staff like ours that represents a wide swath of the community that can influence and shape these children is not only phenomenal, but we have to opportunity to create kids that will go forward in life and be productive members of the society.

I feel that because of what I do, being self employed and being a people-person, puts me in a unique position to be able to successfully help this program have a booster club that is productive and a valued asset not only to the football team, but to the community surrounding the high school. A great booster club can do so much when they have the spirit and pride of a sports team behind them. I want to be a part of that, I just want to make a difference. I love my husband, I love that he is lucky enough to be able to go to work every day and be passionate about what he is doing. That’s a blessing.

I have considered writing this particular woman (who’s my age mind you) an email telling her how wrong she is about me. I know CC is in the process of fighting to get the boosters to accept myself and my mother, so I will refrain. Even if my personal motives to be on the board were to help my husband get the things done that he needs too, would that really be so bad? We want the same things. New equipment to help with injury prevention, better equipment to help with teaching the defense and the offense. We know that this group of kids has potential. We know that regardless of whether or not we have a winning team right now that it behooves the kids to have the proper support behind them. (That’s actually been a topic in the booster club meetings: Because we aren’t winning we don’t need more parental help or the need to spend money on equipment. Makes me wonder why they are confused as to the defeated spirit the kids have at times, its comes straight from their own parents. Winning’s not always the most important thing, but losing shouldn’t be something you settle for.)

I would love to see this group of kids in section playoffs in a few years, and it truly isn’t impossible, but if the current booster club maintains their stance that CC is the enemy, we won’t get any farther than we are. I just want to help. I just want to make a difference. I have the time, I have the abilities and my mindset is on the kids and what we can do to make football and high school the best we can for them. That is all.

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