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Late Night Thoughts

October 18, 2016

My body is changing. From weightloss and from getting closer 40 than to 30. I have wiry hairs on my chin. My breasts aren’t as high as they used to be. I have some lines on my face that show how much I laugh and smile. I have some skin sagging on my belly and upper thighs. 
But I feel amazing. I feel powerful. I feel sexy. I feel strong. Part of that comes from losing the weight I started carrying around after I got married and let myself pack on. The other part comes from the things I’ve experienced and the moments I created and shared. I spent last Sunday hiking around Angel Island. I got up early and walked 4 miles before getting ready to get in the car. By the end of the day I had walked 12 miles and felt incredible. I couldn’t have done that even when I weighed less. I didn’t have that ability to push myself and challenge myself physically on that level.
12 years ago I learned that I loved the power that came from a conquering a challenge. I liked being uncomfortable when I knew growth was coming. I’ve embraced that more than ever before in the last 6 months. I’ve challenged my body, I’ve challenged myself at work, and I’ve challenged my marriage to be even better. 
It’s incredible what has gone on in the personal transformations happening. Mental and physical things have changed on and within me. 
I’ve loved every second of it. My body feels healthy and I am better in so many aspects of my life because of it. I’ve loving more deeply which is allowing me to have better connections with the people I keep closest to me. I’m embracing the idea of getting into my “midlife” because I have so enjoyed the past years of my life and I can’t wait for what else is instore. 
I feel positive, optimistic, and inspired. And I’m excited by some unknown thing that I can feel is coming. That sounds insane. But I’m working toward something bigger then I personally projected for myself. I’m not done working on me yet. 

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