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Halfway Point 

June 15, 2017

June is half over. This means that in two weeks that the year is half over. Thank goodness. I’m nowhere near reaching any of the goals I set forth to obtain this year, but I’m surviving the most challenging 6 months I’ve ever had to dig through. 

Matt’s last day at KHS is today. The last 4 months were a nightmare to get though. The saving grace is that he LOVES his new job. He’s been working with the kids at PGHS since February. He’s two weeks into summer ball, and even though it’s a short summer for him this year, he’s already looking forward to the first day of school in August. I thought we’d never get to this day, it’s been a huge test of our marriage. I didn’t know that high school administrators could be so petty. I know they are angry to lose an amazing teacher and the winningest football coach their school ever had, but the best move on to bigger and better. That’s how we grow as human beings. We move to the next challenge. That’s what my husband needed to do. It’s what he wanted. 

My dad has completed 7 rounds of chemotherapy. The last two have taken their toll and he’s tired. He looks sick. In less than two weeks he’s having major surgery. The tumor on his pancreas has shrunk enough that the surgeon is confident she can remove the whole thing. This isn’t the end of the road in his journey. Cancer isn’t over yet. But we’re getting to jump a huge hurdle that wasn’t an option before chemo. Reality has changed. The timeline has very possibly been extended. In January they gave him a year, this surgery could quite literally buy us more time with him. My fingers are crossed. My faith in science and modern medicine has grown.  

I got control of my recreational drinking. My relationship with food is still challenged. I’ve managed to stop putting on weight, but I’m having trouble losing the 8 pounds I put on. Even with daily workouts. The comfort I’m finding in cookies right now is greater than my willpower to stop eating them. I’m still reading constantly, I’ve taken a liking to sitting quietly and coloring as so many of us adults have lately. But I’m struggling. Everyday has been hard since Christmas. Everyday. 

My saving grace has been my job. Seeing my clients has given me reason to get myself out of my house. My friends haven’t faltered either. I spend my down time mostly with 2 people other than Matt. My weekly lunch dates with Jen make the end of my week something to look forward to. I’m not alone. I breathe that into my heart everyday because it keeps me going. I’m not alone. 

We are 10 weeks from the start of the 2017 football season. I’m really excited for this year. I’m looking forward to that part of my Fall routine. I’m looking forward to the new challenges this league will bring my husband. 

I’m looking forward overall. No backwards movement. Life is forever changed after these last few months. There’s been a lot of tears, a lot of frustrations, a lot of questions, and lots of late nights being angry. But again, I’m moving forward. And I’m not alone. 

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From → Family, Football, Marriage

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